Thinking of downgrading your iPhone…don’t go for the Galaxy Ace.

Even this would be preferable to a Samsung Galaxy Ace.

A quick word of advice to any iPhone 3G users out there looking to upgrade and save money by getting a Samsung Galaxy Ace because
A) they’re free (iPhones are £300 new)
B) they have unlimited data per month
C) they look sort of like iPhones
D) they were convinced by that old salesman chestnut “I’ve got one myself.”
be aware that using one AFTER owning an iPhone for several years is like downgrading from a BMW to a Smart Car because you think it’ll save money. It will, but at the cost of usability.

I thought the iPhone battery was lousy, but I swear, even when fully charged at midnight and with no programmes left running, the Galaxy Ace will not be alive to wake you up at 8am as an alarm clock. WITH twitter or GPS running in the background, you’ll be woken up by the phone vibrating telling you its run out of battery about 5am (gee thanks, Samsung, what a clever bit of design). How do iphones manage to survive without having programmes running in the background? Think about it, Samsung – the answer is “Very well, thanks.”

Typing on it is like wading through treacle. The full stop button is exactly where the space bar should be so The spell check is worse than schizophrenic, remembering some words and not others and, like an annoying person trying to end every sentence for you, it… tries to end every sentence for you. I’ve switched it off as i was spitting blood. Hence my errors in this post. Which, to be honest, I can’t correct them as there are not enough hours in the day.
The internet browser is horrendous. The address bar and the google search are the same thing which is incredibly awkward.

The speech recognition button is hilarious; asking it to search Google for cohorts, equally displeased with their purchase (“Samsung Galaxy Ace Haters”) meant I was asked “Do you mean Samsung Galaxy Case Peters?”.

Remember, it's free. That's all it's worth. £0.00.

Writing in a wordpress blog text box is like pulling your own teeth out with pliars. It simply WON’T allow you to.control where you type, refusing toscroll up or.down smoothly – the keyboard takes up so much room that, with the address bar taking up the top half of the.screen, you’re left with about 15% of the screen to type on, none.of which does what you ask it to. I’ve resorted to typing blogs first in the Memo programme (an idea clearly pinch from the iPhone’s Notes), only to find it has a 1500 character limit per note! (iphone has none.) So I can even badmouth this damned phone without it trying trip me up.

If you have a friend called Zoë or Amelié then get used to calling them by their first name because any use of accents or umlauts means you CAN’T HAVE ANY CONTACTS WITH NAMES TEN CHARACTERS OR LONGER! Also the contacts’ detail screen doesn’t have apace for email addresses. Imagine that in 2011.

Plugging it in to my mac got no results at all. So not only will it not sync to iTunes, but to get things on or off the phone you need to buy a separate SD card reader. After working the first time, my card now refuses to be recognised by the mac, suggesting i format it completely first. Brilliant.

And as an actual phone – isn’t the point of ripping off a design supposed to be keep ideas and claim them as your own? At least with an iPhone, you can hang up.easily with the big red button. If you move away from the phone call mode on the Ace to browse a contact or your calander to make a date, you can’t back to phone mode to hang up! It’s just embarrassing not knowing how to end a call aged 37.

On the plus side, the camera is very good but if the battery is low (which it always is), not only does it refuse to take pictures, it refuses to.even open the camera app. Incredible.

I’ve clearly been.spoiled by the iPhone and now nothing.else will do. If this was Top Gear, I’d be dropping a piano on this toy replica right about now. Thankfully, for a free handset, its worth £65 on Which is £65 toward a new iphone.
The temptation to rename it the Galaxy Arse is just too much to resist.

Let us know if you feel the same way by voting below. Ooh, it’s just like Strictly Ice Singing. Only it won’t cost you £4.99 per minute.

Musik in meiner Freizeit Schlafzimmer

Mary O'Shea. By a mic. Last month.

On 9th of November, in both 2010 and 2011 (oddly), the Rightsmart office echoed to the dulcet aural perfume of Mary O’Shea as she recorded several choral tracks (to a pre-recorded backing piano). All in a bedroom the size of a small car.

But then’s she’s only little. (Although her voice is massive.)

It’s amazing what you can get away with if
a) you can sing,
b) you have a decent microphone and
c) you put a big blanket on the wall to soften the acoustics (and then pile on lots of reverb). Click below to hear an example of what was achieved.

You can hear more samples of Mary’s amazing output by clicking here and even buy a CD of her own compositions.

Somebody sign her to a label! She has more talent in her tiniest burp than the output of all the divas and chavs that have minced in front of Simon Cowell over the last decade. You heard her here first.

Buckules’ Big Beard Bugs Bristol

Maybe this caption shouldn't be living heeeeeeeeeeeere!

“Whatafunnyface, a wuza wuz, lolly bif, Stephen!, I luv you bruv.” They’re not exactly catchphrases but millions of BBC6 Music listeners will know what they mean.

I love Adam and Joe (that’s Buxton and Cornish) – their TV show was an important part of my twenties and rediscovering them on BBC6 Music, their other TV work, movies etc, has been a real joy. Adam’s YouTubery in particular has been a real inspiration, proving it’s ok to post random bolox occasionally without fear it won’t find an audience. So to see “Count Buckules” (a name that my iPhone doesn’t understand and keeps wanting to predictively correct with the word “bukkake”) in the hairy flesh was a treat. His show, Bug, came to Bristol on July 23rd 2011 as part of the Comedy Garden festival – adding to the huge list of Bristol’s great annual gigs such as Bristol Silents, Encounters Film Festival, the Balloon Fiesta and the Great Annual Clockwork Gibbon Race (one of which I’ve just made up, can you guess which?).
I would have loved to have met him and given him the Powerpuff Girls Heroes and Villians CD that I’ve long harboured as my main conversation starter with him, but it can wait until next time.
Random humour makes me laugh more than anything else, especially when it’s so intensely meticulously planned randomness and I encourage anyone into the same to seek out Doctor Buckles (and Commander Cornballs) in their various other occupations or at least visit Adam’s blog (below) and YouTube site for a few dozen belly larfs.

Or watch this classic from 2007

lo-do fo-ho sci-fi fi-co

that’s london forty eight hour science fiction film competition to you.

along with the clever chaps/chapesses at levelfilms in bristol, rightsmart helped make their entry into this year’s competition based on the criteria dished out at 9am on a saturday (a line of dialogue, a prop, a title). the end result, which is really too much solid film idea for just five minutes, can be seen here.

Southern Limit from Level Films on Vimeo.

it’s full on story-wise but, i’ll be honest, it took me a few viewings to fully understand blade runner, as well.

The Man Who Made Me Love Kettle Drums

John Barry with his then wife Jane Birkin in his Aston Martin DB5. Lucky bastard.

John Barry has died, aged 77. From all accounts he lived his life pretty well, partying big time in the 60’s with Caine, Stamp and – had he been there – Austin Powers. He bagged the hottest girl in London as his wife (Jane Birkin), won 5 Oscars, several Baftas (plus more nominations), had top ten hits, best selling albums, worked on classic films like Zulu, Midnight Cowboy, Walkabout and Dances with Wolves, on not-so-classics like Raise the Titanic, Howard the Duck and Night Games, settled down with his kids and (fourth) wife (married in 1976) on an island near New York and reaped the rewards for his hard work with (I like to think) a tidal wave of PRS money.

Oh, and he invented James Bond music. He made the guitar theme sound the way it did and wrote lots of it bar the twangy bit. He put the stabbing trumpets in, he added the gong, he did the Dizzy Gilespie inspired do-wap middle eight, that’s all him. And you can tell by listening to his work from before that it’s him. Listen to the soundtrack to The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960), one of the few soundtracks by true Bond Theme’s composer Monty Norman, and you can’t hear James Bond at all. Maybe Norman is more literate musically than I’m giving credit for – and John Barry did use the same tricks in his scores time and again, but what tricks! My favourite is the timpani. He made kettle drums snarl. Listen to Bees Knees (the live version) and try not get swept up in the excitement.

His scores make me cry (Two Sock at Play from Dances with Wolves is so sweet, it’s dangerous), shiver with tension (you know somethings about to happen listening to Gumbold’s Safe from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service) and it’s near impossible not to drive like a complete tit, drunk on invincibility, listening to Ice Chase from The Living Daylights.

For these and countless other aural pleasures this man has given me, and those I’ve yet to discover from his 60+ soundtracks over 45 years, John, I, my ears and the hairs and skin you raise on my face via goosebumps, salute you.

John Barry Prendergast 1933 – 2011

a week of two firsts

last week was, we were in solihull, birmingham (a first for us), filming dance based interviews for 4 reel films. during our dinner break we sampled the delights of nandos chicken (our second first). how did we let this much of our lives vanish before sampling these delights?

this is nuts…

brandy, the winner

we’ve just (proudly) finished a very difficult shoot on a west cornwall beach for nuts magazine’s website, promoting their annual bikini competition. anyone can enter the comp (females have an advantage), no previous experience wearing a bikini is necessary, neither is the ability to walk and talk simultaneously.

the end results (edited brilliantly by our good friends at can be seen here.

Welcome. Remove shoes and enter…

We’ve been expecting you.

rs rebuild splat